I hit the books, I set the alarm, I still wake up late, I charm friends when I don't want to, I miss you like hell, I start over again.

I want to explode, dance in the middle of night, let out all the fury. I want to make you laugh until your face hurts, create a life where I could be light, we could be light, energetic and in control of what we want.

This isn't really living at all.

I know I have a life ahead with possibilities but where is the freedom? Where is my time to do what I want? To get to where I'd want to see myself ten years down the line? to at least spend some time with you?

You had said: ' no matter whatever comes'. But then you had also said: ' It better be worth it '.
What is the "it"? I want "it" to go away, leave me alone. I've been chasing "it" for years together..at different levels, with different meanings attached, in different situations with regard to different things and I feel like there's just no peace. none whatsoever.

I want lightness of being, I want lightness of us. I want to stay up all night writing, or making music maybe- I hate to be mechanical. I have forgotten how the sun looks at dawn, do you remember?Or do you remember how it feels to be surrounded by your favorite people? I don't. Where are they? Where am I? I laugh at myself now, thinking of the time when I had control, when I thought the world was mine to transform. Where am I going? Where am I taking you to?

We have a voice but we don't use it. My hands are full with impending deadlines and my shoulders are burdened and what takes the cake is my heart is heavy with the feeling that I'm the one responsible, with all the wrong decisions. So what am I looking for? yes compromises, thank you very much. And look at you. There's dust on the keys and the strings are out of tune. That's a real crime. If we neglect our dreams any longer we'll forget them and that will be the end of it all.

Leave with me. Leave with me right now. We don't have money, we don't need money - we have talent, we have love and enough wonder to convince them all. At least ourselves. But will we? Can we?