According to Indian mythology, a person dies 17 deaths in his lifetime which are just as excruciating as the actual ultimate one and possibly more demeaning. Ridiculous!! was my reaction. With due respect to death, think I understand now where they were coming from. It already feels like almost half way down the lane depending on what life has in store but probably the rate would slow down and things will even out. What really astounds me is the hopelessness of it all. It's almost as if it appears at the horizon, stalks you, waves at you, plays with you at will and all this while you are rooted at the same bloody spot, transfixed, waiting for it to drain life out of you, bit by bit. It paralyzes, and it is the inaction, the helplessness which kills. As they say, you can't put it off, can't ever cheat it. And you can't possibly share it with anybody. And it has a transforming effect. It scars, you are never the same person again. The catch is that it's almost never palpable. Sometimes not even to the self. As it is, the way of the world is to highlight the shortcomings, the changes in people without ever trying to understand the incidents responsible for or the circumstances leading to. All this makes life difficult, at times unbearable but the key is to never let life be reduced to a terrible wait and to make the most of the happy times. It mightn't visit you for years, and it might feel like you're dying twice, thrice in a matter of hours. It is in those few hours that you feel the existence, the presence of G- your sole refuge in such times. I found myself cursing my belief in Him and still praying with all my heart almost simultaneously. It's always His light which shows you the way up from the nadir. Or you might interpret it as the belief in your heart. Don't think there's much, if any difference. Even a year back, I'd have put the proximity of it down to luck, but now Karma seems so much more logical and perhaps a tad satisfying too. As for luck I'd take my share of greater bad luck any day over no luck whatsoever that many people complain about. Perhaps I'm at the dawn of my spirituality having encountered my intricate needs, my inner self in the last few hours. Fortunate that I'm to be loved, it seems rather trivial now. May be because I'd never be able to trust again.
BTW, I can provide no explanations for the words so readers, please don't bother.